Raise your hand if you’re tired of misinformation hurting people. Irrespective of each of our differences in political party, religion, or worldview, aren’t we all exasperated? We all can get fired up because deep within us we want the truth. The problem is we each think we have the truth, and we can easily point to the group whom we believe is responsible for the toxic ideas polluting our nation. What is truth, and can it truly be known? Or will everything we hear be questioned as possible fake news or conspiracy, causing us to live in fear and mistrust of information from now on? Whatever is true, I want to believe that, but it’s difficult to know what or whom to trust anymore. Everyone claiming to have “truth” promotes it with passionate conviction, yet with so many conflicting ideas out there, truth can seem elusive and relative.
Continue reading “The World You Want”The Paradox of Pain
“You’re not a bad person. You’re a very good person, who bad things have happened to. Besides, the world isn’t split into good people and death eaters. We’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are.” ~ Sirius Black to Harry Potter
The title for this could have also been The Pain of Paradox. I teetered back and forth trying to decide which side to focus on, and, in typical paradoxical fashion, I realized…both. I remember saying last year that I wanted to stand in the middle of a teeter totter and be perfectly balanced. To which a wise man responded, “You’re going to have to have a strong core.” Of course, I was speaking metaphorically. It’s safe to say I’m extreme about being balanced. I know that sounds rather oxymoronic.
Continue reading “The Paradox of Pain”I Love You, Papaw
“I love you, girl.” It wasn’t the last thing he said to me, but it’s the last thing I specifically remember him saying. He never called me “girl.” It was always “sweetie” or “Mal.” Sometimes he’d sing, “Mallory, Mallory, Mallory, Mallory, life is but a dream,” and I’d laugh. This sounded different. I thought it was both cute and sincere, like he viewed me as a friend, and like he was trying to say “I love you” in a different way so I would know how much he really meant it. I got to see him just one more time after that. Our last few visits were so special to me because they were days when he was in good spirits, but I was also aware our time together was drawing short. Before I left, I hugged him, held his hand, and told him I would see him later. It’s hard to remember specifics of what we talked and laughed about in those last visits. You try to commit those final precious moments to memory, but the details kind of end up being a blur. Nothing that significant happened. I was just thankful to have more time with him.
Continue reading “I Love You, Papaw”Disappointing the Devil
“You are always so desperate to find yourself AND ready to abandon yourself. You so badly want to be seen AND to disappear. You have forever been desperate to yell “Here I am!” AND to fade away at the very same time.” ~ Glennon Doyle
The paradox of this quote really resonated with me today as I was listening to Glennon’s newest book Untamed. I think this quote unveils the dark madness that haunts our inner selves. We long to be seen and loved for who we are, yet we’re afraid to be vulnerable, so what do we do? Hide behind all kinds of masks, going to painstaking lengths to suppress the insecurities that torment us. Expensive clothes, fancy cars, posh job titles, makeup, lavish vacations, and a wide variety of filters on Instagram. Of course these things aren’t evil in and of themselves. But are we just hiding? Are we trying to quench our thirst for something deeper and more meaningful? Who are we really when all of that is stripped away? Will we disappoint others with who we really are without those things…and more importantly…will we disappoint ourselves when we take a deeper look into those eyes staring back at us in the mirror?
Continue reading “Disappointing the Devil”Malice in Wonderland
“There is a place. Like no place on Earth. A land full of wonder, mystery, and danger! Some say to survive it: You need to be as mad as a hatter. Which luckily I am.” ~ The Mad Hatter
I dreamt up the title of this blog over a decade ago, but never did anything with it. Considering the madness currently brewing in our world, I think it’s high time I stop brewing the idea, and spill the tea. Oh my! Have I made a rhyme? I just woke up from a dream about a rabbit. Random? No, it’s Easter. I think. What day is it? Day 26. A quick glance at my ever present technological pocket watch reveals that it is the unearthly hour of 3 a.m. Oh dear! I just hit my head on the ceiling. It seems…a bit lower today? How curious! Opening my eyes, I remember…I’m a miniature version of myself…trapped in a teapot. I’ve been doing a lot of wondering lately. Not that that’s really anything new. But I feel like I’m in one of those purple mental spiral tunnels (try saying that as fast as you can, more than twelve times) from an old animated movie. But this isn’t a movie, and it isn’t a bad dream either. This is reality. Continue reading “Malice in Wonderland”
Wondering
It seems like everyone has something to say about the current situation our world is in with the coronavirus. Should I add my two cents or would it just subtract from the words coined by others wiser than me? Better to keep one’s mouth shut than to open it and sound foolish. While there may be a demand for many necessary items typically found at convenience stores, coronavirus memes aren’t in short supply. Laughter is essential; it helps offset the panic on the other side of the coin, right? We want to laugh because if we don’t laugh, we might cry. It’s okay to cry though; it reminds us of our humanity. Most of us have never been through such an uncertain time as this, and we don’t know what to expect or how to react. But I believe we should give ourselves grace and permission to feel whatever it is we’re feeling. It’s okay to be sad, confused, and afraid. If we don’t feel the gravity of this situation, we won’t process it or respond to it appropriately. Continue reading “Wondering”
YESTERDAY
A blank white page. What will I muse about? Yesterday. I very much liked yesterday. The sea-saltiness hanging in the air. The gentle rippling water, and the sun hitting it, causing an endless sea of paparazzi. Little bits of magic – shining…shimmering…splendid! My feet gently crunching the vibrantly green grass, wishing to feel the coolness of the waves kissing the shore. The blockade of sharp rocks tells me to just watch from a distance. It’s sunny with a high of 85 tonight. But I don’t mind. The air is so free and calm, with an occasional blustery gust of wind…strong yet gentle at the same time. Continue reading “YESTERDAY”
Who Is Colony House?
My family drew names for Christmas this year, and my sister gave me an album on vinyl by a band called Colony House. After I opened it, she asked, “Do you still like that band?” I was a little confused. And I wasn’t trying to hide it, I was just thinking slowly. Who is this band? Is this The Rocketboys? I don’t like The Rocketboys! Maybe she was thinking of another band I like called Humming House? “I don’t know who this is,” I finally said. “It’s Steven Curtis Chapman’s sons!” Light bulb moment. For the record, I knew they had a band, I was just unaware of the name change from “Caleb” to “Colony House.” Where have I been? Caleb and Will Franklin are even on the cover, but as people tend to do, they grew up, and I didn’t recognize them. All these differences left me blind, blind, blind. Continue reading “Who Is Colony House?”
Lackadaisical
I spent a little time editing my blog site tonight and as I was reading, I came across a few things that inspired me to write. Even though I’ve blogged a lot this month, I’ve gotten a little lackadaisical on the idea of “Randomness.” Crazy, right?! I mean…that IS the title of my blog AND what this whole thing is supposed to be about! So, tonight I must write what’s on my mind and BE RANDOM! So here you go. Backing it up a bit, I always thought the word was “lacksadaisical.” I’m not usually lackadaisical with grammar, but it’s hard not to make mistakes when you hear a random word like that which so often gets mispronounced. I so appreciate having Google at my fingertips, virtually whenever I need it’s mad research skills. Continue reading “Lackadaisical”
Dark Matter
Depression. Anxiety. Fear. Guilt. Shame. Death. Disease. Disabilities. Abuse. Toxic relationships. Divorce. Job loss. Heartache. Hatred. Crime. Racism. Slavery. Suicide. Terrorism. War. Natural disasters. Human trafficking. Infertility. Miscarriage. Failure. Addiction. Homelessness. Loneliness. Inequality. Ugliness. Lost friendships. Mental disorders. Insomnia. Criticism. Rejection. Doubt. Darkness. Maybe you see pieces and parts of your life in this list. These things and more make up the dark matter we all face as part of the human race. In a perfect world, none of these horrible realities would exist, but unfortunately, perfection is not the reality of our universe. Scientists say that only about 4% of our universe is known…which means about 96% of our universe is made up of dark matter and dark energy…the unknown. Continue reading “Dark Matter”
Blue Moon Muse 