It’s the evening of Thanksgiving. I am particularly fond of gazing up at the moon, and it is beyond beautiful tonight. I was certain I would be able to capture it’s beauty with my 24 megapixel Canon camera. I’ve done it in the past. I spent several minutes shooting at the moon, whilst hoping for a sign of a shooting star, but alas there were none to wish upon. I got out my tripod and changed some settings on my camera. The result was extremely clear pictures of an insanely bright moon! I was sure I could edit them to perfectly show the asymmetrical features staring back at me from way up high in the black night sky. I rushed back inside and after eating some Thanksgiving leftovers for dinner, I edited away on the best photo I shot of the moon.
Several minutes and many different editing features later, this is what I got. A plain white spot on a plain black background. I’m still so confused. I don’t know what’s different from the last time when it turned out so well. And now all I have running through my head are the lyrics to Relient K’s song “Look On Up”…
“Have you ever tried to photograph the moon?
Well I have too, I have too.
I find it funny how it never turns out right.
It’s like someone poked a pinhole in the canvas of the night.
And that’s not what it’s about,
I’m so tired of missing out.
I look on up to the sky,
I wonder why I put a filter between beauty and my eyes.
I look on up into your eyes,
It’s time I put down my devices and I start to live my life.”
A perfectly centered plain white spot on a plain black background. I had such high hopes for this photography endeavor. It could have won an award…or at least it could have graced my Facebook timeline and been shared with friends. My editing skills (or lack thereof?) were useless. The photo was simply uneditable. Disappointingly and inevitably uneditable. And while I appreciate the sentiment in the song of valuing people over devices, I REALLY enjoy taking pictures and sharing them with others…or just reminiscing by myself. But, I know…I place too much stock in getting the perfect photo…lesson learned, again.
How many times do we get excited for something and we’re disappointed with the outcome? Our high hopes amount to nothing more than a plain white spot when we thought we could create a masterpiece…an empty pinhole in our attempt to nail down success. No one will rave over this photo. It seems like a failure. If this was our only glimpse at the beautiful and mysterious sphere reflecting light to us at night, what a sad and boring (and false) reality that would be. I pressed the shutter button and got a plain, flat, empty white circle. The only good that came from it was the fact that it inspired me to write a blog and reflect on life. That’s what we’re supposed to do with our shortcomings, right? Wouldn’t it be great though if we could just learn the valuable life lesson BEFORE we had to take the test?
Your life might feel like a plain white spot on a plain black background when it could have been a glorious photo of the moon, had you just used the right camera settings in the first place. Are there things about your life you wish you could change that are simply uneditable? What can you learn from them? Are there things in your life that you can change? If so, will you have the courage to do it? Will you walk outside for another photo since the moon is still visible? Or at least gaze up at it’s beauty even if you can’t get the perfect photo?
After I tried to edit this uneditable photo, obviously to no avail, I decided to turn it into something inspirational. I told myself I was just going to write whatever came to me and not even edit it, so this is very raw content. I feel like there’s still so much more I could unpack here, but this blog is long enough already. I’m sure it will serve as a source of reflection in the not so distant future. I hope you can find things to be thankful for even when life disappoints you or looks like a pinhole amidst the vast universe.
I’m reminded of a scene from the movie Little Women when Jo is hopeful her stories will start getting published, despite the negative feedback she keeps receiving from publishers. She asks her mentor friend what he thinks of her stories, and he gives her some constructive criticism. “You should be writing from life, from the depths of your soul. There is nothing in here of the woman that I am privileged to know. Jo, there is more to you than this. If you have the courage to write it.” Shortly thereafter, she stops focusing on her fantasy stories and starts writing something from the heart…Little Women.
While we may be flawed, we are not “hopelessly flawed.” And our lives are not inevitably uneditable.
November 22, 2018
Blue Moon Muse 